I was also starting to drink a lot; the guys always wantedme to drink before taking me to bed. A few weeks after the time withZack my Mother asked me if I wanted a change of pace. I did not at firstknow what she was talking about but said yes. That night she broughthome two women. Both women and my mom seemed to be laughing a lot and smoking, I neversmoked in my life but always wanted to; my life now was as good as, oreven better than I ever hoped it could be. I could have men, no moreboys for me, any time I wanted to, I had money and mom and I; and aDoctor, were working on my becoming a real woman but I would have towait until I was eighteen.Back to that night. I took a cigarette and it was not a regularcigarette. I felt my inhibitions drop. Marie, the woman mom brought homefor me took my male virginity.Joyce stopped coming to see me but I didn't care. I didn't need her anymore. At summers end I went back to home schooling, Joyce never came back. Iwas always in a fog; all I wanted. ’ I was angry, angrier than I could ever imagine being, so angry that I was using language that I’d never used before in my life. But what Warren, my son, was suggesting was the cause of my outburst. ‘But Dad, look at you, you haven’t shaved in weeks and when was the last time that you washed the dishes, and look at the place it’s in a hell of a mess. You are not able to look after yourself, and I insist that you will be better off in a home where you can be looked after properly.’ ‘You insist. Who are you to insist? Since when have you had my interests at heart? Look, I haven’t shaved because I don’t want to. Ever since the sixties when you mother asked me to shave off my beard I’ve wanted to grow it again, but I knew she didn’t like it, so I’ve held off. Now that she’s no longer around, I’ve decided that it’s time that I did what I wanted to do for a change, and if that means growing a beard, then I’ll grow one. I think that it balances out the fact that there’s no thatch on the.
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